Sunday, October 1, 2006

October 2006

  • I love Saturday

    Current mood:content
    Saturday is my favorite day.  I love being able to sleep in.....and yes, with my husbands help with Maddie I get to sleep in.  I love relaxing and drinking coffee and having nothing to do but spend time with my family.  Today it is gorgeous outside and we have the windows open and even sat outside on the porch with the baby so she could hear the wind chimes.  I got some scrapbooking done and Daddy and Maddie had a fun play date.  I love my family, I love where I am in my life and I love Saturday.

  • estupido means stupid in spanish

    Current mood:chipper
    The Moms club that I joined has a book club that reads one book a month and then meets and discusses what their thoughts were on the book.  Although I don't know if I will have very much time to read, I was really excited about the idea of a book club because I LOVE reading!  I used to read at least a book a week pre baby and I figured that even with little time, I should be able to read one a month and be part of the book club.  Well, yesterday I got the invitation to November's book club meeting (they use e-vite for all of their events) and on the invitation was a synopsis of the book that they are reading this month which is........Second Chance by.......Danielle Steel.  Uhhh WHAT?  I could not believe it!  With all of the wonderful literary masterpieces that are in this world, my Moms club book club is reading the thought provoking work of DANIELLE STEEL.  Are you kidding me?  I have always come to the defense of stay at home moms (hey, I am one) and really believe that we are just as intelligent as our working counterparts and have chosen just as challenging professions, but COME ON!  Danielle Steel?  I am really disapointed and let down by the women in this book club.  They are giving us intelligent stay at home moms a bad name and really dumbing-up the idea of a book club.  I think that I may try and get in good with whomever makes the book selections and see if maybe we can get something a little less bodice ripping for December.  I have nothing more to say........except........
    P.S. My husband is the dictator of our home and won't let me turn the heat up past 68 degrees.  My toes are cold and I'm afraid they might fall off.  I love you honey!  lol.
  • Discoveries

    Current mood:thankful
    I've been a mommy for almost a month and a half and there are so many things that I have discovered about myself, my husband and the new life I now live.
    Having an infant is hard work.  While I was pregnant thoughts of soft skin, chubby cheeks and giggles danced in my head, and while all of those things are fantastic…'s also a lot of hard work.  Rewarding, but hard.
    My maternal instinct kicked in instantly and is strong.  I was a little worried about this because I had been around a lot of kids in my life and was always ready to give them back to their parents when I was done with them.  Having Madeline was totally different and I don't really like being away from her for any length of time.
    Dan loves me.  During the labor/delivery and recovery period Dan helped me with some things that I don't think I would even do for anyone.  He showed so much strength and patience and never made me feel like I was a burden.  
    Other peoples children crying can drive me insane, but my own baby crying breaks my heart.  It's amazing the drive I have to make everything better when Maddie is crying.  A few times I have even sobbed myself because there was nothing that I could do to make her feel better. (damn gas)
    I am a huge advocate of breastfeeding.  I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, but since I started with Madeline I've experienced the incredible bond that flows between us and I don't plan on putting any time constraint on how long I nurse her for.  It's recommended for a year, but I will continue as long as it's mutually enjoyable for both of us.
    My husband is an incredible father.  There was never a doubt that he wouldn't be a good father, but he is amazing with our baby and a wonderful help for me.  Poopie diapers don't faze him.  When she is crying and nothing seems to be wrong and nothing can calm her he will sit and patiently hold her until she falls asleep.  And he gets up in the middle of the night to change her or sit with her so that mommy can get some sleep.  His love for her is apparent even to strangers.  He is outstanding!
    I think that my baby is the cutest baby in the world.  Yes, there are very good looking babies out there, but mine is better than all of them.  (sorry to everyone else and your children) lol.
    I am capable of functioning with so much less sleep than I would have ever imagined.  It's amazing to me that I can have a night with 4 broken hours of sleep and still get up and love my baby, take care of my house, cook meals and not want to kill my husband for getting a nice sold 7 hours of sleep.
    My body is in a constant state of motion.  Even when I am not holding Maddie, I tap my toes, rock from side to side and sway.  I think it's a permanent condition from holding and trying to get my baby to be calm, or fall asleep.  Dan does it too.  Haha.
    I watch far less TV than I used to.  Don't get me wrong, I watch just as many shows as before I had a baby, but I am usually holding Madeline and talking to her or looking at her and I miss most of what is going on.  I ask Dan constantly "what did he just say," or "what just happened?" I'm sure it annoys him a lot.  But I find that I don't pay attention to TV nearly as much even with a DVR.
    Babies grow like weeds which in my case means that she is already growing out of her precious baby clothes.  She has outgrown some 0-3 month clothes and we have moved up to 3-6 month clothes and she is only 6 weeks old.  I know she will slow down eventually, but man we're gonna have to shell out some $$ if she keeps it up!
    The phrase sleeping like a baby is a bunch of malarkey in reference to sleeping soundly and peacefully.  Babies (and I say babies plural because I don't think it's just mine) do not sleep soundly.  Madeline thrashes around, kicks her legs, hits herself in the face, grunts, growls and makes cooing sounds.  She is asleep the entire time she is doing all of these things unless hitting herself wakes her up, but she most definitely does not sleep like a baby…..and neither does her mommy anymore.
    I may never be on time again.  I used to be a very punctual person and lateness really upset me, but with a baby I can't seem to be on time for anything.  I try to schedule things around her nursing so I don't have to breastfeed in public, but sometimes she doesn't cooperate.  Diaper has to be changed before we leave, diaper bag has to be packed, baby has to be put into car seat, water needs to be filled up in my cup…..there are just so many things to be done before we leave the house.  Gone are the days of grabbing my keys and sunglasses and jumping in the car.
    Infant poop is easy to clean off butt cheeks, but near impossible to get out of baby clothes.  All of those cute, tiny baby clothes that we have for Maddie are slowly being stained with yellow baby poop.  So sad.  *sigh*
    The most expensive diapers are not always the best.  We have tried Huggies, Luvs, Pampers and although I now like the Pampers Swaddler diapers, for the first 4 weeks we ended up using the Target brand diapers because they worked the best.  Which happened to work out for us because they were half the cost of any other name brand diapers!
    Sometimes Madeline makes a face and I swear I'm looking at Dan.  She doesn't look like either one of us particularly….she has my ears, and face shape and I think she has Dan's nose and possibly his lips…..the jury is still out on who's eyes she has.  But I swear every once in a while she is the spitting image of her Daddy.  It will be fun to see who she resembles as she gets older and her looks progress.
    Motherhood is awesome.  It's so much better than I ever could have imagined!  I love watching Madeline grow and seeing her become her own little person.
    And becauseI love pictures of my baby so are a few!!
    Her shirt says Crib Potato
    My little chub!
    I think she's pooping

  • Maddie's birth story....disclaimer inside!

    Current mood:busy
    This is Madeline's birth story.  I wrote it down so that one day my baby can read it and see what I went though to bring her into the world.  I also had some people who have asked me about it and rather than tell it over and over again, they can just read it if they want.  If you don't want to know this much information about me or things that are involved in the child birthing process…..please do not read. 

    Everything started on the evening of Monday, September 11th.  I was admitted into the hospital around 5:30 pm put into a labor and delivery room and went over tons of paperwork.  I changed into a hospital gown and my doc came in to do an exam and to insert a Foley bulb into my cervix.  Imagine the balloons that mines and clowns use to make balloon animals and that is what the Foley bulb looked like.  One end (the end that was in my cervix) was blown up into a little round bulb, and the other end stayed long and skinny.  I was still only dilated 1 centimeter and 80% effaced… progress….poo.  Doc made one attempt to insert the bulb and failed, and on the second try said he "thought" that it was in correctly.  All the while, I am lying in stirrups extremely uncomfortable and having more people look at my vagina than I felt was truly necessary.  I also had some blood drawn and had an IV inserted into a vein in my hand…..which hurt because the nurse had to do it 3 times before she actually found a vein that she didn't collapse.  My Dr. finished and took off and Dan and I were left to our own devices.  We had already missed dinner and there isn't much to do in a hospital, so we watched some TV and went for a walk around the hospital in hopes of helping the process along with gravity.  Imagine me in a hospital gown…..because they made me wear it even though I wasn't in labor or anything….walking around with no pants on and the long end of the Foley bulb hanging down between my legs.  Needless to say it was an uncomfortable and embarrassing walk.  The nurse came in and checked the bulb at 11:30 pm to make sure that it was still in and after ascertaining that it was, she gave me some Ambien to help me sleep and Dan and I went to bed.  Let me just say that Ambien is fabulous and in our hospital room where there was a monitor that beeped all the time, I didn't hear anything and slept like a baby.

    The next morning, Tuesday, September 12th, the nurse came in at 6:00 am to wake me up and since my Ambien worked so well, I wouldn't wake up, so she came back at 6:30 am.  Dan and I got up and showered.  I was told that I was not allowed to eat anything from midnight until after I gave birth which I thought was ridiculous because if I was going to go through all of the work that is labor, I needed some fuel.  So, Dan and I had brought food in the night before and I snuck a piece of bread with peanut butter on it while the nurse was out of our room.  At 7:00 am the nurse removed the Foley bulb and did an exam and told us that I was still only 1 centimeter and it looked like the bulb had not done anything.  She hooked me up to a fetal monitor and a blood pressure cuff that took my blood pressure every 30 minutes.  I had to have the monitoring because they were inducing me, otherwise I would have been able to walk around the hospital to help with my labor.  The nurse also hooked me up to a pitocin drip to get my labor started.  At 7:30 am my doctor came and did another exam and said that I was 2 centimeters dilated and while he was doing the exam I felt him poking something and asked what he was doing and after I felt a gush of water coming out he told me that he had just broken my water.  I was so upset and wished that he had told me before hand that he was going to do that rather than telling me after the fact because if my water was not broken I still had the option of leaving the hospital to try and labor naturally at home but with my water broken I had to have the baby within 24 hours. 

    My contractions started around 7:45 am and were pretty mild.  Some people had said that contractions feel like period cramps, but I didn't think they did at all.  Dan and I started watching movies and my mom arrived at around 9:00 am to hang out with us.  My contractions were 3 minutes apart and lasting about 1 minute but they were irregular and some were strong and some were mild.  I used the restroom a couple of times which was quite difficult with the monitors and having to cart the IV stand around with me, plus trying to pee while having a contraction was not fun!  We continued to watch movies and chat while my contractions got stronger and closer together and at 12:00 pm the nurse came in and did an exam and told us that I was 3 centimeters.  I started to feel really discouraged because the pain was getting pretty bad due to the pitocin and I wasn't progressing very quickly.  I decided to get something to help with the pain and the nurse gave me stadol.  She said that it would work quickly and boy did it!  I remember laughing hysterically and telling Dan and my mom that I could understand why drugs are illegal but why people would like to take them because the stadol was fantastic.  I then started crying hysterically and laughing still all at the same time.  My mom told me that I kept saying that my head felt full.  Who knows!  I could still feel the contractions and it still hurt, but I was so out of it, I didn't care.  About 8 minutes after getting the stadol, I fell asleep. 

    I slept for about 3 hours and when I woke up the stadol had worn off and the contractions were killer!  I got up to try and walk around the room a little bit because laying flat on my back seemed to make the contractions hurt more but the nurse came in because I was not able to have the fetal monitors on while walking around and she said that I had to have the monitors on.  So, I got hooked back up and tried sitting in a rocking chair and leaning forward over a table, but the fetal monitor was not getting an accurate reading so the nurse came back in and told me that if I was going to sit in the rocking chair I had to sit straight up.  I tried that for a while, but sitting straight up did not help with the pain at all.  I got back into bed and tried lying on my side to help with the contractions….again the fetal monitor could not get an accurate read out and the nurse came back in and told me that I had to lie on my back.  So basically I was in pretty bad pain and my options were to either lay flat on my back, or to sit up straight in a chair…..not much to help me get through the pain of labor and my labor was pretty intense because pitocin makes contractions come fast and furiously rather than laboring naturally where contractions are more gradual.  My contractions were now right on top of each other with no break in between and my nurse told me that I could get more stadol although it might not work a second time or an epidural if I wanted it.  I was trying really hard not to get an epidural so I said another stadol.  At 4:00pm she did an exam and I was dilated to 5 centimeters and she hooked me up to more stadol…..and in fact it did not work.  By this time I was not getting any relief from the constant pain and I was feeling pretty bummed that I was only 5 centimeters and didn't know how I was going to get through the last 5 centimeters when it was soo painful.  I ordered an epidural and 15 minutes later at 4:15 pm the anesthesiologist arrived to insert the epidural.  I was really scared and was worried because I was told that I was not allowed to move yet I was having back to back contractions and my body was moving on it's own…..thought I would become paralyzed.  The epidural was so easy and I didn't even feel it.  People talk about it being so painful and crying during it, but just the thought of the pain relief the epidural was going to bring made it totally easy.  My mom left at this time to go back to our home to feed the dogs.

    After epidural was administered my nurse inserted a catheter so I wouldn't have to get up to potty and also did another exam.  I was 6 centimeters.  The pain was a little bit better but I could totally still feel every contraction and they were still painful.  Within 10 minutes the contractions got worse and I felt the need to push (it felt a lot like needing to poop) we called the nurse in and she did another exam and I was fully dilated.  I had gone from 6 to 10 centimeters in 10 minutes!  Hooray.  The nurse told me to not push and to let the pressure build up…..I now know it was because she needed to call the doctor to drive over to the hospital to help deliver.  I tried my best to hold off on pushing but it was hard!  Contractions were still killer and brought on urge to push every time.  My doctor arrived and got me set up into stirrups and my nurse and a baby nurse were all congregated around my legs.  They told me to push the first time and said that I was a good pusher and then started to talk amongst themselves about hospital stuff.  I could feel everything and knew when to push and would start on my own, and then the Doctor and nurses would stop talking and watch me push and then go back to talking.  The pushing was the easiest part because while I was pushing the contractions went away and I didn't hurt and because I knew I was so close to seeing my baby, I got a second wind and had lots of energy to push.  Dan was really good about cheering me on and in 40 minutes I pushed Madeline out!  She was 8 pounds, 7 ounces and was born at 5:43 pm.  Her apgar scores were 9 and 10!  At one point they asked me if I wanted a mirror to be able to see her coming out and I said no because I just wanted to push and get it over with and didn't want to have to wait for them to set up the mirror.  They also asked me if I wanted to reach down and touch her and pull her out and I again said no, because I just wanted to get her out.  I was all business!  My mom came back at 6:00 pm after feeding the dogs and as she was walking down the hallway to my hospital room, she heard a baby crying and figured it was someone else who had given birth.  Boy was she surprised when she got to my room and discovered that I had given birth in the hour that she was gone feeding the dogs!  Haha.

    Looking back there were things that I liked and disliked about my birthing experience.  I wish that I would have been able to walk around and try different pain management techniques during labor but having been induced and basically strapped to the bed, it was not possible.  At the time I wished that I didn't have the epidural but right after delivery and even today I am really glad that I did.  It helped me to relax and I finished dilating really quickly after it was administered.  If I had not had the epidural, the possibility of me having had a much longer labor, or a c-section would have been much greater. (my doctor told me the day after I delivered that he thought for sure I was going to have a c-section because I was progressing so slowly)  And I still felt everything even after the epidural, I could still feel the contractions and I could still feel when I needed to push and how I needed to push.  This experience has taught me that you can plan out as much as you can and things still may not happen the way that you want or had planned.  Every birth experience is different and you just have to go with the flow.  The final result will hopefully be a healthy beautiful baby and it doesn't matter so much which road you take through the journey.  

    P.S.  I did not poop on the delivery table!  Yeah me!

  • Big Mistake

    Current mood:cranky
    Tonight we went to the fair.  Let me start out by saying that I was excited about the idea of getting out of the house and being entertained by everything that is the fair.....oh, and eating too!  I have always loved the Del Mar fair in San Diego and hoped that the fair in Raleigh would be equally as great.  The evening got off to a good start although we left the house an hour later than I wanted to.  As we were driving there and got close we noticed that all of the freeway exits were completely bumper to bumper and no one was moving.  I won't bore you with all of the details, but  I will say that our entire evening took five and a half hours and we were only at the fair for 1 of those hours......getting to the fair and leaving the fair were HORRIBLE.....there was so much traffic!!  I have also never seen an outdoor event that was so crowded, and I worked at Disneyland for 2 years!!  Inside the fair you could barely walk because there were so many people felt like we were all cattle and had to inch our way around.  I wore Maddie in a snugglie on my chest and had people bumping into me left and right. 
    I was so excited for fair food and we ended up only having a corn dog and some cheesy fries because most of the lines were ridiculously long and on top of that I got sick from the food.  Not throw up sick, but I felt like I was gonna and now Madeline has gas and is a big cranky pot and it's more than likely from the greasy food that I ate that I didn't even really enjoy!  As we were leaving around 8:30, there were still huge lines outside of the fair of people wanting to go in and there were cars all backed up trying to find places to park.  And a crazy were parked EVERYWHERE.....they were randomly on the side of the road, in ditches, parked on the grassy areas of the freeway on ramps and off ramps, they were parked in the center dividers on the roads surrounding the fair.  I couldn't believe it.  It was also totally loud with people yelling in microphones everywhere and it was really cold out and I worried that my baby was freezing.  All in all a pretty bad idea.  But at least now we know.  I don't think that I ever need to go back to the fair here in Raligh again.  And if next year you find me writing about wanting to go.......kick me in the head and tell me it's a bad idea!  lol. 
    The picture below was taken after 2 hours in the car trying to get close enough to the fair to park......I am still in pretty good spirits hoping that the fair will be enjoyable......also, notice the cute little baby attached to me.....that's the best part of the picture!

  • Tub time No. 2

    Current mood:happy
    Today we did appempt no. 2 at the big girl bath tub.  It was much less tramatic for all involved!  Maddie liked being in the water and havign it poured on her, but did not like at the end when I washed her hair.  But she only started crying when the shampoo was rinsed off.....what a big girl.  She handled the experience so much better than last time and it made me feel a lot better that I was not tramatizing her for life or making her freeze.  All in all a good time and I know that it will only get better as we continue doing it.  If she is anything like her Mama, once we get to bath toys she won't ever want to leave the tub!  lol. 

  • Snore fest

    Current mood:satisfied
    I had quite a night of sleeping last night with my baby on one side of me snoring and my husband on the other side of me snoring.  How did I get stuck in the middle of that fun? 
    We're going to the fair today and I am excited.  What other time of the year can you eat anything you could possibly imagine fried?  The new thing they have is fried coca cola......I'll let ya know how that is......although it sounds pretty weird to me.
    Well I'm off.....I love lazy weekend mornings.  My husband, baby and a cup of coffee.....what could be better?
     Happy Saturday!!
  • Heaven sent papasan chair!

    Current mood:chipper
    I have joined a Moms group!!  Yesterday was the first meeting that I went to and I had a great time.  Most of the moms there are around the same age as I am and most of them have more than one kid.....I couldn't even imagine that for myself right now! lol.  There were crafts for the kids old enough to do them and a police officer came and talked to us about child safety.....that was kinda lame becasue she didn't tell me anything that I didn't already know.  It was nice to get out of the house and to be around other women who are going through the same things that I am.  Madeline is the youngest baby there but I'm sure it won't be that way for long.  This Moms group is a nation wide club and they have something going on every day during the week that I can choose to attend if I want.  Same age play groups, book club get togethers, cooking evenings, moms night out, trips to museums and family events.  They are having a fun fall event with hay rides, pumpkin carving, crafts etc.....I know Maddie is too young for that, but it will be a great group to be involved in for when she is a little older.  I can't wait to get more involved and to make some friends.  Dan and I have moved around so much in the last couple of years that we haven't really made friends, and while I was pregnant it felt like we were in a transition state where it was hard to make new friends cause we didn't fit in with the couples with kids yet, and we didn't fit in with the young married couples cause most of them were going out and partying and drinking which we couldn't do.  But now that we've had Madeline, purchased our home and are settled and NOT moving again, I am so ready to meet people and make some friends!!
    We have also found a church that we are pretty excited about.  We have yet to attend though.  The plan was to go last Sunday, but Saturday night was pretty wicked with the baby and it just wasn't happening Sunday morning.  But, this week it's on.  We are going to attend come hell or high water.  The church is called Clevelnad Community Church and I've checked out their website and it seems like a really cool church and it meets my basic requirements for a church which are:
    1. Young people must attend....I do not want to be a member of a church with all old people. 
    2. There must be a praise band.....I know that hymns have their place in church history, but I feel that is where they should stay.  I want to be moved and lifted up and old stuffy hymns just don't do that for me. 
    3. The pastor must have a sense of humor....the pastor of Cleveland has his own blog and seems very jolly.  
    4. Sermons must be relevent to our generation......I don't want to be preached to about my sin all the time.....I know I'm a sinner, but learning about God and how his word fits into my life in 2006 is much more interesting than being condemend every Sunday. 
     5. There needs to be more than 25 people who attend the church......don't get me wrong, I like cozy situations but I also like my privacy and don't want everyone at chucrch to know EVERYTHING about my life. 
    6. There needs to be Sunday school classes for kids and youth groups for Jr. High and High School aged kids.  I was very involved with my church and youth groups growing up and it enriched my life and kept me out of the bad stuff that kids that age do.  It was a fun, safe place for me to be and was were I met my core group of friends growing up.....I want that for my children!
    So, that's it.....although it is a lot to ask for, I do feel like this church can offer all of these things and more!  I am very excited about trying it all we have to do is get Maddie to sleep well Saturday night.
    I'm sure that those of you who look at my pictures regularly have seen a fuzzy looking chair that Madeline is sitting in.  It's in the picture below.  I need to publish props for this chair.  It is a vibrating, music playing papasan chair for the babies....I think it's Fisher Price, but this chair was sent to us from Heaven!  For anyone who has a new baby, or thinking about having a baby, BUY THIS CHAIR!!!!  We don't use the music all that often, but the vibrating is fantastic!  We can stick Maddie in the chair and on most days she will relax and fall asleep.  It's cozy and has a built in blanket and keeps her somewhat upright which seems to help her with gas.  I love this chair and after last night when she was up every 2 hours to eat and having a rough time I put the chair up on the bed this morning where Dan usually sleeps (after he left for work) and stuck her in it with the paci and she slept for another 3 hours right next to me.  Hooray for more sleep!  This papasan chair is a very good investment and I'm glad I bought it. 
    Ducky day....she looks like and elf! lol.
  • The amazing enormous baby!!

    Current mood:tired
    Today my precious baby is one month old.  I can't believe that a month has already gone by.....I know I've said this before, but it really does feel like I was pregnant just the other day, and in the hospital giving birth to her yesterday.  It seems like so much has happened in this one month and at the same time very little has happened.  Maddie has made gigantic steps in development and yet in the scheme of life it's such a small amount of progress compared to what she will accomplish throughout her life.
    Today we took my little baby to her Dr. so that she could get her one month weigh in. Since I am breastfeeding, I wanted to make sure that she was gaining weight appropriately since I don't really know how much is going in.  I can tell that she is gaining weight because she looks chubbier than she did at birth and clothes are already starting to not fit, but you know....I wanted to know.  Dan and I both guessed at what her weight would be.  Dan guessed 9 pounds 12 ounces and I guessed 9 pounds 13 ounces and then changed my mind to 10 pounds. her weigh in where she was wearing nothing, not even a diaper, she weighed 11 pounds 10 ounces!!!!  Holy freaking enormous baby!  We could not believe it!!  At birth she weighed 8 pounds 7 ounces and a week later at her Dr. appt. she was 8 pounds 4 ounces, 3 weeks she gained 3 pounds 6 ounces!!!  And ignorant people say that babies don't thrive as well on breast milk....HA.  So, we don't have anything to worry about with that.
    She has been fussier this week than she had ever been before.  I don't know if it's just an off week, or if she is getting more of a personality and does not like going to sleep or being asleep, or if she is getting a little bit of colic.  Dan says that it is not colic, but I'm not sure yet.  I hope that it's not, because that will make my life a lot more difficult (lack of sleep & fussy baby all day long) and Maddie looks miserable when she is crying and unhappy.  I feel so bad for'd think that if God could make babies as perfect as they are, he could go one step further and give them better intestinal tracts right off the bat so they wouldn't have to deal with the yuckie gas that they all seem to get.  Hopefully the couple of bad days that we've had this week are just a fluke and that serenity and sleep are in my near future!
    Happy one month!  Here is a picture of my chubster.  P.S. This is the last time that she will be wearing the cute cow is getting too short for her.  Boo hoo.

  • Grumpus butt!!

    Current mood:okay
    Today my little angel has been a total grumpus!!  I do not know what the deal is....she is so cranky and nothing seems to help.  She doesn't want to be in her vibrating chair, or her swing, and we tried tummy time and wiggle time under her activity mat and she doesn't want to do that either.  She wants her pacifier and then she does not want her pacifier.  She is soo tired and keeps yawning but she WILL NOT go to sleep.  Every time she gets close to sleep, she flails her arms around and wakes herself up.  I tried wearing her in the sling and she fell asleep for a little bit but as soon as I take her out so that I can do something productive around the house, she wakes up and flips out.  And it's not that she is just whining....she is full on crying, and it breaks my heart and also drives me insane.  What do you do with a cranky baby when nothing seems to be working?
    She is even cranky in her sleep.....what little sleep she has gotten today.  HELP!!  Insane mommy trapped with grumpus!

  • rainy wedding day

    Current mood:exhausted
    Today we had a big outting.  We went to the wedding of our friends Ivy and Paul.  We met up with Dan's family and went out to lunch in Fuquay and then drove to the wedding which was being held on a farm of sorts.  I say of sorts, because I have no idea what kind of farm it was, but the wedding was in a barn.  I felt really bad for Ivy because we have had really nice weather in the 80s all week and then yesterday the sky started leaking and the temp dropped to the upper 50s and today was no different.  Every girl dreams of her wedding day and I don't think any of the dreams involve rain or dark skies.  It turned out okay, but the outdoor wedding had to be moved inside.  It was really nice seeing the family and having the baby out and about.  She looked so cute in the little dress that we bought especially for the occasion and she was such a good girl all night!!  But I must say that it feels good to be home.  I was so tired most of the day and also cold because it was gross outside all day and us women folk wore dresses and open toed shoes which makes it even colder.....I changed into comfy pajama pants and fuzzy socks as soon as I got home.  I am tired and ready to go to bed.  As soon as we can get little miss Maddie to sleep I am going to fall into a coma.  Below is a picture of Madeline sleeping in her pretty dress from tonight.....she looks grumpy!!  lol. 
    P.S. Maddie slept from 11:30 till 5:00 last night!!  Woo Hoo for a 5 and a half hour stretch.....and let's pray for more of those nights!

  • Week 3

    Current mood:loved
    October 2, 2006

    Precious baby,

    As week three comes to a close I am having a hard time remembering what it was like without you in my life.  At this point my life revolves around you and your needs and I can't imagine it being any other way.  We still wake up together 2-3 times every night so that you can nurse and I spend much of my day with you in my arms doing everything I can to keep you happy.  You are starting to be awake more in the day and actually sleeping better at night.  It takes much less time for me to get you to fall back asleep after nursing at night than it used to!!  Hooray for more sleep…..although you still fight falling asleep and get pretty mad.  You take after your mommy in the fact that you also get really mad when you are waking up.  You grunt and squirm and arch your back and try with all of your might to stay sleeping even though your body is trying to wake up!  It's pretty funny.

    You took your first trip to visit Daddy at work this week.  He took you out of your car seat and walked you through the offices at his work and introduced you to a lot of people.  Everyone of course thought you were adorable (which you are) and a couple of the guys even held you.  Daddy was really proud and we both enjoyed showing you off.  Mommy also had her very own outing with you alone to Wal-Mart.  I hadn't been out of the house when it was just the two of us and I was a little nervous at first, but we did great!  You slept most of the time that we were shopping and I got you home without having to feed you in Wal-Mart.  It was a great accomplishment!

    Daddy learned that sometimes when he is changing you, he needs to duck and take cover!  You had explosive poop and made a huge mess the other day.  You got it all over Daddy's shirt, the changing table, the armoire that your clothes are in and even some poop on the wall across from your changing table.  It was REALLY funny and Daddy and I could not believe what a mess you made.  I was secretly thrilled that you made such a mess while Daddy was changing you and not while I was changing you…..good girl!!  You are definitely good at making poop and pee and keep us on our toes while we change your diaper… still like to wait until the diaper is off to decide that you want to pee which is a lot of fun for us.

    You had your first big girl bath this week.  Since your belly button stump fell off, it was okay to submerge you into the tub.  Daddy and I filled your tub up with warm water and got you undressed and I tried to put you in the water very slowly so that you could get used to it, but it was hard to do.  I'm not really sure how you felt about the bath.  You definitely didn't love it, but you also didn't cry.  You kicked your legs a little bit and made constant baby noises, but I think you were too startled and surprised that you were in water to figure out how you felt about it.  Mommy had a hard time with the whole thing and thought that you were freezing and wanted to get you out as soon as possible.  We didn't even wash your hair or use soap.  But it was the first time and we got that experience under out belts and the next time should be easier and hopefully you'll learn to enjoy it. 

    We had your first official tummy time this week.  Mommy laid you down in your crib on your tummy and you laid there with your face planted flat on the mattress.  I of course freaked out and removed you from tummy time since you did not lift your head at all.  I later tried propping you on your tummy on the boppy so that you didn't have your face flat on the mattress and you did much better.  You lifted your head a little bit and I lowered my face so that you could look at it and have something to focus on.  I didn't keep you on your tummy for very long because it still freaked me out and made me sad that you had the options to either strain and lift your neck, or have your face flat looking down.  We'll keep working on it though and try a little more every day so that you can learn the motor skills you need to roll over and push yourself up.

    Overall we had a great week.  I can't believe how big you are getting and how fast you are growing.  You are getting more baby fat and looking very cute and kissable!  It's hard to believe that in one week you are going to be one month old… seems like yesterday we were in the hospital.  I love you so much and can't wait to see what unfolds this week.

    Love always,

  • One Year

    Current mood:thankful
    Today marks the one year anniversary of my wedding to my best friend.  One year ago today we were in California with all our friends and family vowing our love and commitment to each other.  Life has changed so much in this year, we found out we were having a baby, bought a house, I stopped working, and gave birth to my miracle!  So many changes, but the one constant is our love for each other and the deep friendship that we have.  This has been a wonderful first year and I look forward to every year to come.  I love you's our song!

County McCounterson