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11 days and freaked out
Current mood:I just looked at my ticker count down thing that's on my page and it said 11 days.......11 DAYS! I can not believe that I only have 11 days until my due date. 11 days!!!!! When it was 210 days that was far enough away that I cound't even comprehend how LONG I still had to go. 60 days was much closer, but still seeemd like a long haul. 11 days feels like nothing.....in 11 days I will have the biggest experience of my life to date and I have absolutely no idea what it's going to be like. I am not at all prepared. I mean I am prepared in as many ways as I can, the nursery is set up, the diapers are bought, the books have been read, but what does all that really add up to? I'm not ready. And yet I am ready to not be pregnant anymore. Every morning for the last week I've woken up and wondered "is today going to be THE day?" As of today it hasn't been it, but the reality is that I could have my baby any time. I am running out of days to take long showers and leisurely cook meals and take naps when I want to. In the past there have been other times when I can count down 11 days......11 days till my birthday, or 11 days until I get my drivers' license. 11 days until I graduate, 11 days until I move, 11 days until I get married.......I've had all of those milestones and yet this one will probably be the BIGGEST in my entire life. Even my second baby won't be as huge a deal because I'll have been through the 11 day count down before. On this day, day one of my 11 day count down, I find myself very hormonal and extremely emotional. I go from being overjoyed about having this baby and ready for her to be in my arms and no longer being pregnant to not wanting to have her anytime in the near future and hoping to stay the way that I am right now for longer than 11 days. I am tired. Too tired to deal with all of the feelings that are swirling around inside of me. I am going to go to bed and try my darndest not to let my hormones get the bast of me and try to stay in that overjoyed and ready mind set. Cheers.
exhausted -
Pregnancy update and stuff
Current mood:Today I am officially 38 weeks pregnant and it feels like I have been with child for FOREVER!! Everyone told me I would feel like this towards the end, but you really have to go through it to understand. I can't believe how close I am and I want her to be done cooking and to be in my arms and not my uterus. At the same time that I am writing this, I am also terrified that labor is right around the corner and I don't know if I am ready for the most painful event in my life yet. In case you don't know me, I can be quite a wimp at times.We'll see how it shakes out. As of today, I have been having sporadic braxton hicks contractions, and have not yet lost my mucus plug (as far as I can tell) I'm not really having any signs that labor is going to happen in the next few days, so I really might go all the way to my due date. My doctors have said however that they aren't going to let me go much past my due date because of the gestational diabetes.....no need to let Madeline get any bigger. Speaking of the diabetes, my blood sugars have been good and under control and my doctor said there shouldn't be any complications other than her being a little bit big. (I learned that people with type I diabetes can have huge babies and that there can be organ failure and other horrible complications) So, all in all things are going well. As long as I can keep sleeping well and stay comfortable and air conditioned I should be fine for another couple of weeks, but hopefully Maddie won't take that long.....she was full term as of last week so she is more than welcome to come anytime now.
happy
Finally I have pictures of Madeline's finished nursery. It's been done for a couple of weeks, but I wanted Dan to be able to see it in person after he got home from Switzerland and I haven't been on the ball since then. I personally am very happy with the out come and can't wait until I have a baby to place in the nursery....not much longer to wait! I have made the executive decision that we are not ever moving because I don't want to have to do this again!! Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change anything and it was a labor of love, but a labor I wouldn't want to do again for a very long time.
Madeline's crib and the glider that I will be living in once she is born
I love the curtains in her nursery and the toy box/bench was a fun project, Dan and I sanded it and stained it to match the rest of the furniture.
The tall boy is FILLED with clothes and you can't live without a diaper champ!! (so I hear)
Changing table and the book collecton I have been working on since I was much younger.....here's to hoping she is one smart little cookie!
The girl already has a closet FULL of clothes.
The quilt that I made for my baby girl.....it's not perfect, but it's from the heart.
Up close pic of the quilt.....the cream pieces of fabric with the flowers on it are from my blankie that I've had since birth.
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I'm a survivor
I have survived the great North Carolina heat wave of 2006.....also known as "Our air-conditioner was broken for 3 days and I am 8 and a half months pregnant" I really thought that I might melt to dealth, but have surprised myself with how strong I am and I made it through.....I'm a SURVIVOR (insert beyonce singin' with her girlzzz)
It all started on Saturday with half of Dan's family visiting and staying overnight at our house. I could say that they brought the curse, but I don't think they made our air units coil leak, so it was just dumb luck. Anyway, they came over and us girls went to a bridal shower while the boys were left to check out tools, grunt loudly and eat too much food. When the bridal festivities ended and we came back home I went from the nice air conditioned car to the humid mucky North Carolina air into my home which is normally a wonderfully cool 74 degrees and what did I discover? There was no difference from the mucky outside air to the mucky inside air!!! This is when I learned that my best friend during pregnancy, the air conditioner was BROKEN!! Now in case you don't understand the magnitude of this I'll repeat myself with the appropriate level of horror......OUR AIR CONDITIONER WAS BROKEN!!!!!! and I am VERY pregnant. The boys worked at trying to make the air unit work and despite their efforts it was still broken. We called the warranty company and told them of our problem and they didn't seem as sympathetic as they should have been.....in the fantasy world known as Gina land, they should have sent someone right over on Saturday evening and made them work until it was fixed even if that meant working late into the night......in the real world also known as North Carolina aka the bible belt south, they told us that the repair company was closed on Sunday.....you know.....God and all that, and they said they would give us a call sometime on Monday. Now I understand that this news probably seems like common sense to most of you and any rational person would accept that and move on......well, I am not rational. I do not understand why when it is 91 degrees INSIDE my house and I am as big as a whale I have to wait 2 entire days to get someone over here to fix my air conditioner. However, I did not have a choice.
So, on Sunday Dan and I went to the pool and went around the lazy river for a long time and then went to the movies to use their air conditioner for the afternoon. We just barely made it through the day by staying away from our hot house as much as we could, but sleeping was horrible. Monday morning as soon as I woke up I called Dan at work......have I mentioned that Dan has air conditioning at work.....anyway.....I asked him when the repair men were coming and was delighted to find out that they would be here between 12:00 and 5:00.....now what's the first thing that pops into your head when you hear that a repair man is coming in a 5 hour window of time? The first thing that came to my head was that he would be there at 4:55 and I was going to have to suffer through the entire day of heat. The second thing I thought was that I was not going to be able to go to the pool if I was waiting for the repair man's call.....#$z&.
Well, I was mostly right because he showed up at 4:30 and I did suffer through the entire day without any air. But on the plus side, I learned that if you don't move at all for an entire day, you sweat less than when you do move, and I can see a nice glow in my skin from the day long steam and sweat facial I got. Those lessons alone almost make the broken air conditioner worth it......no, I'm lying, it wasn't worth it......just hot. Morals of the story:
1. Don't get yourself knocked up so that you have to suffer through a North Carolina summer
2. Always buy a warranty when you buy a house just in case your air conditioner breaks.....it's much cheaper than covering the cost on your own.
3. Don't live in the bible belt if you hope to get anything done on a Sunday......everything is closed and for you alcoholics, that includes all stores for the buying of liquor.
4. Once air conditioner is fixed, realize just how blessed you are that you have said working air conditioner and don't take it for granted.
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My baby is home early (baby meaning Dan.....not baby)
Current mood:Happy Happy Happy!! Dan caught and earlier flight from JFK to Raleigh and will be here 2 hours early!! I'm on my way to go pick him up and I am really HAPPY! I can't wait to give him a huge hug.
ecstatic -
Ways to get rid of guilt
Current mood:
boredThe puppy is gone. I was going to keep her and try to find a home for her myself but decided that it was too much for me to undertake while 8 months pregnant and alone. My biggest complaint was that she was filthy and more than likely had bugs and I didn't know how she would react to me trying to bathe her..I can't afford to get bitten. Animal control came and got her around 10:00 this morning and it was a bit sad. I wish there was something more that I could do, but I can't take in every unwanted animal. We already have 2 dogs that are a handful and are not cheap and with a baby on the way one more dog would have been too much. I hope she gets the medical help she needs and finds a good home. Keep her in your prayers.....even if she is only a dog!To get rid of my sad feelings and to cover my guilt for getting rid of her, I went on a HUGE cleaning spree. Every inch of my house has been vacuumed. (I even used the long skinny adapter to get the baseboards) I mopped the kitchen, living room, den and hallway. I cleaned the laundry room and washed the dogs beds. I dusted the living room furniture and cleaned the kitchen table. I also pruned my plants and watered them all. Let me just say the house looks great and I don't feel so sad. It feels nice to have a clean house void of all the dog hair that is normally around..too bad it won't stay clean past tomorrow! Boo-Hoo-Hoo. Here's a note to everyone who reads my blog, (all 3 of you) hard wood floors are beautiful and a great idea unless you have dogs! It shows ALL of the hair and paw prints and is such a pain in the butt to keep clean. And for a pregnant woman about to pop out a baby......it's not very easy or fun to try and keep them clean!! There's my 2 cents for the day, take it or leave it.My body hurts from my cleaning frenzy and I feel restless. I don't know what to do with myself. TV is boring the heck out of me and it looks like it's going to rain so the pool is out. The nursery is completed so nothing left to do there and I finished my baby quilt on Tuesday..oh well for saving projects. I could go shopping, I do need some more baby hangers, but that seems like such a boring thing to go shopping for and honestly I don't even feel like leaving the house. I miss Dan and I know that even if he were in this country he would be working right now and not entertaining me..but at least I would know that he would be home in a few hours. 2 more days to go and hell be back. I guess I can make it through as long as he comes back with presents! Haha. Well, Im off......there has to be something for me to do around here. Later gators. -
My house guest
Current mood:So my dogs were outside this evening and all of a sudden started freaking out and barking out of control. I went out back to see what's up and there was a dog standing by our fence. I went over to it and she jumped up on me and licked me. I went across the street to see if my neighbor knew who she belonged to and he didn't know, but I discovered that she has a little limp and a sore on her face next to her mouth that doesn't look very good. I brought her back home and took her inside and gave her a huge bowl of water and fed her some dog food. She drank a LOT of water and proceeded to follow me around. I introduced her to Tyson and Henry and after the initial "I'm cooler than you" attitude from my boys, they seem to be okay friends. I called animal control, but they were closed for the evening. I'm gonna keep her over night and take her to animal control tomorrow morning but I am a little nervous. I don't want to make her stay outside over night because it makes me feel bad, but I'm pretty sure that she has fleas and I don't know how potty trained she is......she looks about 5-6 months old, so she could be okay, but I don't want to learn that she is not potty trained by having her pee in the house. The other option is to have her sleep in the laundry room with Tyson and Henry but I'm not sure how that would work out. She is a really good girl, and I hope that my decision to keep her tonight doesn't blow up in my face with her giving my dogs fleas or her ruining our new carpet. Keep your fingers crossed for us and hopefully I will make the right decision. Below is a picture of my house guest......think Dan will let me keep her? Hahahahaha!
worried
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Maternal instincts?
Current mood:
tiredLast night I watched the National Geographic special called "In the Womb" for the second time. And yet again, it was amazing. If you haven't seen it, you should....even if you aren't pregnant. Today I am 36 weeks or maybe 37 depending on if my ob/gyn is correct that I am a week ahead of the game. Finally I am in my last month, although I still cant believe it! Watching the show last night made me remember back to the very beginning and finding out that I was pregnant, my first Dr's appointment and my first ultrasound at 9 weeks. At 9 weeks Madeline was smaller than the size of a grape and had a tail and now she is close to 6 pounds, filling up my uterus and looks like a newborn baby. It's an amazing process how babies form and grow and I can't believe how far we've come.In just a few weeks I am going to have a baby. I'm going to have a baby..I felt it needed to be said twice. Part of me is so ready for this, and the other part of me that has no idea what having a baby is going to be like is scared. I worry about more than just "am I going to be a good parent." Before I put my feelings out there I want to preface them with this: I have always been a selfish person. I have lived my life for me and made my decisions based on what would make me happy. This mentality is not unlike what other single people feel. Then I got married and things changed. I now consider Dan a part of me and care also about what makes him happy. Marriage is a partnership and even though it is difficult at times I love it. And now baby makes 3. But I am scared that Im not going to be able to give completely of myself. I've babysat and been around a LOT of babies and there comes a point with each and every one of them when I'm done. I don't want to hold them anymore, or deal with their crying and I give them back to their owners. Don't get me wrong, I love Madeline and I have a different relationship with her in my belly than I have had with any other baby, but I have no idea what the reality of having my own baby is. I know that I will love her, but will the selfishness in me just naturally turn to selflessness and patience when she arrives? There has to be other people out there who have dealt with these feelings..I'm not the only one am I? Hopefully when she arrives my maternal instinct will naturally kick in and I won't have the desire to pass her off and go take a nap.Maybe its best not to blog my feelings when I am REALLY hormonal. On a better note, Dan and I signed up for the Blockbuster movie program that is like Netflix. Why not join Netflix you ask? Well Blockbuster has the exact same offers for their plans, but they also offer 1 DVD rental per week in any Blockbuster store all for the same price. We figured it would be cool to go into the store to rent a movie if something good comes out and we are anxious to see it, or if we have to wait over a weekend to get our next DVDs by mail. And if we go out of town, we can use our in store rentals anywhere across the US. So, I have 2 movies here waiting for me to watch and since Dan is out of town they are totally chick flick movies!! I am really excited and am going to go watch them right now. -
Re: my vagina.....don't read if you're squemish
Current mood:Yesterday I got tricked at my doctor's appointment. I showed up thinking that it was going to be just a normal appointment and wham.......they told me I was having my strep B test. Overall not a big deal, they take a little swab from my private places and I am on my way.......but then they told me that I was seeing Dr. Turlington (a man) and not my normal Dr. Evans (a woman) Now I am all for male Dr's.......I think they have every right to go to medical school and learn how our vaginas work, but I myself have never been to a male gyno and it scared me a little that this man was going to see me down there in my worst possible circumstance. I won't go into detail for those of you who are sensitive, but pre pregnancy I always made sure that things were nice down there before an inspection......clean, trimmed, etc. but since I didn't know that this was going to be happening at my Dr. appointment yesterday and that fact that I can't even see down there anymore it was only clean and with the weak-ish pregnancy baldder and the snail trail (read Jenny McCarthy's belly laughs book) down there, I don't even know how clean it was!! They offered to have a female nurse do the test on me if I didn't feel comfortable, but I decided to get over myself and get the situation over with because really.....Dr. Turlington (male) could be the one who is on call the day I deliver my baby and he will be seeing far worse than what goes on with the strep B test. Plus, I figured that he has probably seen it all and that I couldn't possibly be the worst. All in all it went well, but I do believe that Dr. Turlington thinks that I am crazy. I read far too much and ask him ridiculous (in his opinion) questions and he actually laughed at me yesterday...not in a bad way of course. Told me I should stop reading. I won't. Baby is still head down although I thought for sure she turned herself around, and everything looks good so far.......not too much time left to go.....getting scared!
chipper
P.S. The diabetes things is going well and I got a good grade at my Dr. appointment! Still have to eat food that tastes like cardboard.....no fun for me, but better for Maddie so it's worth it.
Tuesday, August 1, 2006
August 2006
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