That's a wrap

It has been a little more than a month since Charlotte nursed for the last time. I've not written about it mostly because for the first couple of weeks I had very mixed emotions. I felt like it was the right decision for me, and for her but I also felt very guilty. Mother guilt is a very large 10 headed beast that can take over even the most level headed. I can probably give you a list of 20 things that I could feel guilty about in regards to raising my girls if I let myself....I try not to, but the big issues bring the bubbles to the surface and I have to figure out how to process what I'm feeling with reality and break away from the internal voice that tells me I am a bad mother.

I feel much better about weaning and find the old adage to be true.....time heals all wounds. As more and more days pass I get settled into life and I think about nursing less and less and I see that Charlotte is fine.....more than fine, she poops all the time now.....no more 11 days stretches with horrible painful gas and cramps. It has been so long since I've had my body to myself it almost feels strange! In the last 36 months there have only been 3 months where I wasn't either growing or feeding a baby. Maddie stopped nursing on Mother's day (May) 2007 and I was pregnant with Charlotte by August of 2007. I'm not sure if I want to have any more biological children, but I do feel like I'd like another opportunity to nurse, so there may be more somewhere in the future. It's hard work to nurse.....it's painful at times and exhausting and time consuming and completely selfless and although I didn't get to my goal (of a year) with either of the girls, I am proud of myself. I feel like I did my best to give them the best start that I could and both are visibly very healthy girls! The last 33 months have been so very worth the work. I am the most blessed!

(please disregard the mess that is my house)