As far as pregnancy affecting me, I feel like once I got past the nausea which ended around 10 weeks (and was the worst with this little one), this has been my easiest pregnancy! Some days I don't even feel like I'm pregnant. It might have a lot to do with the fact that I have two small children who prevent me from dwelling on aches and pains for too long, and keep me running around and busy all day. I also have had less time to sit and ponder what this baby is going to look like and be like and what it's name is going to be. With both Maddie and Charlotte we had their names picked out before we had the gender ultrasound and with this little monkey Dan and I are still throwing around names and unsure what the final choice will be. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that we are not finding out the gender of this baby.
We decided before we even got pregnant that we were going to wait until delivery day to be surprised. I anticipated that this was going to be a very difficult secret to keep from myself but it's actually been really easy. Minus the few days leading to an ultrasound where I waiver back and forth it's not really an option to find out so I don't even think about it. At the ultrasound I have Dan there to be strong.....he's a lot better at these things than I am. I do wish we could find out just to make planning easier, we have lot's of girl stuff so that's not an issue, but if this child is a boy we have a bit of shopping to do.....unless we just dress him in pink! lol But really, it's a non issue because we're planning on buying a few boy type infant clothes at the consignment sale and I'm sure that there's something that we already have that a boy would be able to wear. Plus I'm sure that relatives would LOVE to buy clothing for the first little boy on either side of our families. Right relatives?!?!
I've had quite a few people ask if we're hoping to have a boy or if we were trying to have a boy and my honest answer to that is we want to expand our family, plain and simple. We're not hoping for anything other than a healthy baby.....although to be honest I am hoping for a mellow non crying all the time baby! :o) I think it would be great to have a boy although it would be totally different than what I'm used to, but I also think it would be great to have another girl. I never had a sister and always wish that I did, so providing my girls with sisters is awesome! I'd love a house full of little women. Same goes for Dan.....yes, he would enjoy a son, but he loves his little girls and would be happy with either. I know there are people out there who have kids of all one gender and they desperately want the opposite gender and are disappointed if they don't ever get it......I am not that person.
Most of the time I am really excited about adding another little one to our family. This baby is so very loved already, and is going to have awesome big sisters! Both Maddie and Charlotte rub my belly and talk (yell) to the baby with their faces planted on my tummy. We talk about the baby all the time and Maddie loves to discuss baby names. Charlotte has always been interested in babies but recently she has shown more interest in taking care of her dolls, she wants me to swaddle them and she goes and gets her cloth diapers and tries to put them on the dolls. They both also tell random strangers that their Mama has a baby in her belly or that I'm going to have a baby and it's going to be a sister......they always think it's going to be a sister! I think that both girls will be excellent little helpers both with bringing me things, and entertaining their sibling. I do think that Charlotte is going to have a bit of a tough time adjusting because she is used to getting lovin' and attention whenever she wants it and has from birth monopolized my lap. But adding a family member is a big change and it will take time for all of us to get used to it.
Some days I am terrified of having another child. Mostly it's on those days when the girls are being horrible, I'm exhausted and my hormones are out of control. I wonder how we are going to survive the crying, not sleeping, nursing, super scheduled first few months. How I'm going to split my time between three kids and make sure that everyone is getting their needs met. I worry that I'm biting off more than I can chew. I worry that I'm going to have post partum depression with this baby like I did with Charlotte and that I'm going to feel like I'm underwater again. There are a lot of things to stress about if I let myself go there, so I just don't. However scared I am of having another baby and being out numbered I just have to watch my kids playing together, listen to some ridiculous Charlotte-ism, or watch Maddie make up some silly song or dance and I know that having another baby is good. It's the right choice for my family! I watch Dan tickling the girls, or reading stories to them or putting them to bed and I know that I have an equal partner in life and in raising these babies. Nothing about life is easy.....it's not supposed to be, but I know that God is watching over our family and that he is our strength when we can't do it on our own. That knowledge helps me to block out any worries I might have.
I'm excited about this child! I am eagerly anticipating fall.....because I'll get to meet him/her and also because summer will be over!! :o) It will be nice to not be pregnant and to not deal with the heat. I'll update the blog after my 28 week ultrasound and let ya know how my placenta is doing! I know that makes everyone happy. lol
These pics were from my 20 week ultrasound, 6 weeks ago. The baby is now around 1 pound 11 ounces and 14 inches long and a bit chubbier.
This is a frontal shot: eyes, nose, mouth.....looks like he/she is smiling!